The Drizzle Hurricane Metaphor
by sassyirony
Summary: Amelia Cormier (oc), a hardcore Phillion, has escaped to London for art school away from her parents. She thinks moving to the city she fell in love with as a child would fix her problems, but instead more emerge. As broken and depressed as she becomes, she then meets Dan Howell, the one YouTuber she hates. He falls for her, but will she fall for him?
1. Prologue

I think I was eight, when I first visited London. It was for a family vacation. We always went on a lot of family vacations. However it was mostly to California, as my younger siblings had a certain affinity for Disneyland. I guess my parents wanted a change from the sweaty rollar-coaster rides, the constant walking, and the same polaroid photographs with Mickey Mouse every year. As much as my parents pushed me to be someone I wasn't; not to mention constantly made me feel like I was never good enough for them, I will always thank for them for that trip to London. It was there that I fell in love with the city. I fell in love with its culture, its heavy downpours, the way the sidewalks were shaped and how they called it pavements, _everything _about that damned city turned me into a raging anglophile. We only stayed for two weeks, however. But after we left, every single day, I felt a physical aching in my bones to be back there and not just for a silly family vacation . It was the only thing that kept me going through the nights of tear-stained bedsheets; not to mention the pressure and the venomous words inflicted onto me from my parents. This craving to be on London soil was only worsened when I discovered British YouTubers; specifically the most appropriately named AmazingPhil. His smile, his laugh, everything about him, made me fall in love. For once in my silly little pathetic life, I felt like someone cared about me. Even if he didn't know I existed, through the power of video, Phil Lester made me feel as if I could accomplish my dreams; to never give up; to be myself. Definitely things that my parents, for sure as hell, didn't teach me or made me feel. If I didn't achieve perfection, if I didn't do what they wanted, I was nothing to them. For following my dreams and doing what I wanted to them was wrong. But, even though, everyone else around me was against me, I had YouTube; I had Phil. I could escape onto my computer and in a matter of minutes, my stomach was in pains from laughing so hard. For even just a couple of minutes, I could reach solace. Even if in the background, there would be my parents yelling at me that my latest test wasn't the highest grade, that I was useless, and pathetic and that I would never achieve anything useful. None of that bullshit they were spouting at me didn't matter, because through YouTube, I felt like I mattered. So, that's what I did. Instead of my high-school years being filled with wild parties and substance abuse, it was filled with caffeine-induced long nights of my head in a textbook studying until my eyes bled and my parents yelling at me about how I needed to do better. It would be all worth it though. I would graduate with honours and manage to attain a full-paid scholarship to the most prestigious art university in London. But all of that came with a price. The price of being cut off from my family. It didn't matter if I achieved an amazing scholarship and graduated with honours; I wasn't doing what _they _wanted me to do. It left me in a half-broken state, a state which I thought no one could repair. But, the most unlikely of people appear in the strangest of times. That's for sure, I would've never expected myself falling for someone that I thought I hated. If it wasn't for that silly family vacation, I never would've met and fallen for Dan Howell.


	2. Chapter 1

I was left in a half-asleep half-awake daze in front of my laptop. The only thing staring at me was my long past overdue graphic design project. But I couldn't get the inspiration in my head flowing. I kept reading the instructions over and over again, but to no avail, no creative lightening bolt struck at me yet. Nothing. It was unusual. Usually, I immersed myself in my graphic design projects. I mean after all, I was attending _ on a full scholarship to become a fucking graphic designer. But the last few weeks had been difficult. My school-work had got progressively harder, I struggled to pay my half of the rent, it was a mess. _**I **_was a mess. I thought moving to London would be a dream come true. I was living in the city that I fell in love with when I was a child. Not only that it was with my best friend and attending a high-end art school, so I could have a career in work that I actually enjoyed. But even though I had no toxic parents reaking havoc on my self-esteem, other problems had kept emerging from the midst. As I just, once again, almost fell asleep at my desk from the incredulous sleep-deprivation, I heard the creaky front door open. I opened up one small ocean blue eye to see the 5'1" silhouette of my best friend Camille Ryder, clutching a paraphernalia of groceries. I yawned, slowly straggling my way towards her, to assist her.

"Amelia, you look exhausted. How long have you been up trying to do that blasted fucking project?"

"Um. Well, it's 5PM now. So, I can easily say with the aid of coffee and energy drinks, it's been at least 24 hours."

"Yeah, I can tell considering you almost put the milk under the sink. You need to rest, Lia. I can put away the groceries. There is no need to help me. Please..just sleep." Camille urged me. I couldn't argue with her. She is one of the most stubborn people, I've ever met. Getting into an argument with her is like provoking a bear. But she wasn't vicious; it was in the utmost caring way possible. I left our small kitchenette to the living room that doubled as my bedroom. I crawled onto it and had the most restless sleep imaginable.

I woke up screaming and sweating at about ten o'clock in the morning with Camille sitting by my side, watching godawful Jeremy Kyle again.

"How long have you been here? Have you watching me sleep? Oh my god, I am roommates with Edward Cullen, aren't I?" I jested, as I poked her in the side.

"No, you dummy. You were screaming and talking in your sleep again and I thought it would be best thing to not have you wake up alone in an empty flat. I know I wouldn't want that. So, being the greatest best friend that I am, I stayed here, instead of run errands like I was planning to. You're welcome, by the way." Camille huffed as she abruptly got off the couch.

"Cammi, are you upset with me? You seem a little more...harsh than usual." I was starting to become worried. Camille is the sarcastic type who tends to take the piss out everything, but there was a coldness in her tone. A coldness that took me by surprise.

"Yes, actually. _**I am**_ quite upset with you. You spent 24 hours doing a project that was already overdue and made how much progress? Zero. What the hell is the matter with you lately? Your creativity has been squashed. You got fired from Tesco? You need to talk to me, Amelia. We're supposed to be best friends, roommates. I stayed in this morning, just to make sure you were okay, after a night full of screaming and you just made a shitty Twilight joke and didn't even say thank you. I do all of this shit for you and when have you EVER done anything for me?" Camille's voice starts to rise, even louder.

"You know that's not true, Camille. You know that I've done so much for you. Even after we moved to London. You were still upset over Arielle. You cried yourself to sleep each night. And do you know what I did? I held you. I validated your feelings and did everything I could to help. I bought you Starbucks, everyday. I made damn well and sure that you were okay, everyday. And before that. Remember the night that your parents split up? I came over at 2 in the morning with McDonalds and let you cry in my arms. I've been there for you in every single way, I can. It hurts me that you don't think I don't do anything for you." I started to tear up. "Camille, yes. I've been struggling to adjust to London. I know that. But it's been so fucking hard. The school-work, work, with no fucking support from my parents. They basically said "fuck you" to me, as soon as I could leave the house. Do you know how awful that is to be completely cut off from the people who are supposed to love you?" By that time, I was starting to get flustered. I maintained my calmness and composure, but every word Camille said to me, _stung. _It stung as if her words were poison darts and I was her prey. Camille and I had never fought like that before. Sure, we had our qualms and disagreements, but never a full-fledged fight.

"Amelia. Look, I am just stressed out too. Why don't you just stay here and maybe watch some YouTube videos? Like Phil. Have you even begun to like Dan yet? I don't understand why you think he's such a prick."

It was at that point where the blood started to slightly boil within my veins. We may have both liked lots of YouTubers, but the one that I couldn't stand was Dan Howell. Also known as danisnotonfire. He was so much more popular than Phil was. They may have lived together and were best friends, but I still couldn't stand him. I thought he was just so much of tryhard; girls only liked him for his looks and the fact that he was the stereotype of "socially awkward." The reason why he even started was because of Phil and Phil had much less of a subscriber count than he had. Some of Dan's "fans" even called him ugly and we're just utterly brutal towards him. While, I was hopelessly infatuated with Phil, Camille was hopelessly infatuated with Dan. I personally just found him to be obnoxious. It also pissed me off that Camille tried to change the subject without apologizing. Even within our little qualms and disagreements, she would try and change the subject with talk of YouTubers. She always tried to get me to like Dan and convince me to like him, but I just couldn't. I had to meet him for myself for my opinion of him to be swayed.

"Camille, you are trying to change the subject, like you always do! Instead of just saying sorry and trying to fix and combat the issue, you just change the subject. I always just went along with it, because you would mention YouTubers and it would get me distracted. But not fucking today, Cammi. Why can't you just admit you made a mistake and try and fix it?" I started to yell, as tears started well up in my eyes.

The look in Camille's deep brown eyes started to flicker with anger. I knew from experience that I shouldn't have helped light that flicker. But I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take her always trying to avoid the issues. I couldn't take her irrationality. So, as she started to turn green and before her clothes would rip off, I rushed over to the door, quickly grabbing a jacket and an umbrella and slammed it as hard as I could. I ran as fast as I could down each flight of stairs quickly losing all endurance and pain searing through me, but I was running on anger and adrenaline. And from there, I ran right into the heart of one London's infamous downpours.

Walking in the rain always soothed me. I loved the rain. I loved the sound of rain, the feeling as soon as it touches your skin. I remember when we first to came to London on that little family vacation, even though the weather had predicted sunshine, it was nothing but pure rain. I always begged my parents to let me go outside and run wild in it, but of course they never approved. Ever since I could remember, I would take walks in the rain, just to calm me down. Today was no different. I walked through the hustle and bustle of the crowds, having no clue where I was going. I was just lost in the lack of thought that only the rain could clear. You know when you just absolutely zone out for a couple of seconds? It was like that. Only, I had just zoned out and on everything around me. I became completely numb towards my surroundings. I had become so completely spaced out and just off in a different world, that I had to managed to walk straight first into a very tall guy and completely tripping and falling into a nice big puddle. What great first impressions.

"Oh, god. Um, are you okay?" I knew that voice. It sounded so familiar, but I was still in half of a trance from my walk. This unknown giant helped assist me out of the puddle, as I was completely drenched. I couldn't help but notice they were extremely tall. I mean, I'm not a super short individual, but I'm also taller than average. This guy was like a tree. I looked up at his face, his deep brown eyes, and I knew _exactly _who that was.

"Hey, is that an amazingphil shirt? I mean, I know you're covered in puddle water, but I couldn't help but notice it. He's my best friend. I mean... I don't know. Um.. do you recognize me?"

I quickly glanced down. I completely forgot that I was wearing my Phil shirt. I had just fallen asleep in the clothes I wore the day before. How awkward. I looked back up at him. _Dan. _Of course, I fucking recognized you. If it was any other day, I probably wouldn't feel anger bubbling up inside of me. But I did. It also had flashed into my mind how jealous Camille would be of me. Knowing that _I _met Dan and she didn't. So, I tried to maintain at least a decent amount of composure.

"Uh. Yeah, I think so. Dan, right?" My words stumbled as I failed to make eye contact with him.

"Hah, yep that would be me! Um, are you gonna be okay? I mean, you completely just...well...fell face first into a puddle. I mean.. after running face first into me. My flat isn't too far away, if..if you want a shower and some clothes." he seemed to stumble with his words too. Maybe, the whole 'social awkwardness' thing wasn't just an act. I should've taken his offer. I could've probably met Phil. But I was too upset. Dan was the absolute last person, I wanted to run into that day.

"No... it's...it's fine." I looked at where I was for a couple seconds and glanced at each of the buildings trying to make it look like I knew where I was.

"I'm pretty sure, my flat is just a block away. Or even closer, if I take the subway. But..uh thanks for offering." as I started to walk away and then he turned over and yelled something at me.

"Hey, listen. I couldn't help but notice that you're not a rabid fangirl and that you seem a bit down. But if you ever want to um... talk or whatever, here." he took a piece of paper and a pen out of one of his pockets and managed to illegibly write something and put it in my hand. He started to walk away, as I uncrumbled the Pokemon note paper. It was his number. I was _so _going to make Camille jealous.


	3. Chapter 2

Our front door always had a tiny creak, despite the fact that our flat was fairly new and "modern." So, when I opened up the door drenched in puddle water, Camille jerked her head instantly. I thought I was going to witness the Hulk in action, since I left and slammed the already-creaky door as she was in the midst of becoming a ticking-time bomb. But instead, I saw sympathy and sadness in her dark brown eyes. She then stared at me for a couple seconds; probably wondering what the fuck happened to me. It was a couple of seconds until her facial expression morphed from complete "what the fuck" to utter confusion, as she slowly made her way off the couch and inched towards me. Even after the arguments we would have there would be this silence between us for a small bit, until one of us had gained the courage to speak. Usually, it would be me who would muster up that courage, but today it was her.

"So, before you tell me the story about you got kidnapped by a mud monster after you stormed off, I have something to say. I am sorry, Amelia. I am so sorry for flipping shit on you earlier. I guess I've been having a difficult time adjusting to London too. You were totally right about me avoiding the issues and just trying to change the subject. I… I know you do so much for me. You've just been depressed; I should've known. I thought the both of us escaping from our broken families to a city we love going to school to be able to attain a career we loved would solve everything. It solved some things, but other problems appeared as those ones disappeared. I..I c-care about you so much." Camille started to slip on her words, breaking eye contact with me; biting her lip from trying not to cry. It was weird, because Camille never expressed herself like that before. She always deflected her problems with humor and had trouble admitting her mistakes. To have her sharing her feelings and vulnerability was utterly huge for her. I've known her since I was nine years old and even then she wouldn't admit her insecurities and problems with me.

"I'd hug you, Cami, but you're right, I was kidnapped and taken hostage by a giant mud monster also known as Clumsiness The Horrible and I'm sure you wouldn't want that all over you. I understand where you're coming from; you don't have to say anything else. I forgive you. I know how hard it is for you to be vulnerable and admitting your mistakes; it's okay. You are my best friend. Now, before I become as cheesy as a giant pizza, I should probably change." I comment as she chuckles. I start to veer off towards Camille's bedroom where all of my clothes are kept, when Camille notices my hand scrunched up.

"What's in your hand, Lia?"

"Um..nothing." I mumble. _Dan's number._ I completely forgot about that as she recited her huge emotional breakthrough speech. What was I going to tell her? 'Oh yeah, I tripped and fell face first in the man you're in love with and fell into a puddle and then he awkwardly gave me his number.' That'll go over well.

"I know that's bullshit, Amelia. But since you're dragging mud water all over the flat, I'll let you go change and you can tell me about which cute guy's number you got afterwards."

We could only afford a one-bedroom flat, as London is massively expensive. So, I agreed to sleep on the futon, while she got the cozy bedroom. I just had a dresser that was dedicated to my personal belongings in there, as it would look mildly weird to have a dresser in the living room. Her room was always so meticulous; everything was always so organized and put back exactly where it belonged. I peeled off my wet clothes and set the crumpled paper, which contained the key to Camille doing my every command, on my old dresser. You could tell the old beat up dresser was mine, as there were always clothes strewn on the top. But that day, there was nothing. I just assumed she got sick of it and put my clothes away.

As I rummaged through the mess of clothes, trying to find something remotely clean, my thoughts were running rapidly through my head. What was I going to tell her? She would get so insanely jealous of me and insist that I let her call him. But in a way, I didn't want that. Sure, I didn't like Dan. But he could become my key to meeting and befriending Phil. If I gave her his number, she would become an obsessive fangirl over Dan and then she would ruin my chances of ever even being remotely friends with Phil. I also couldn't lie to her; Camille always knew when I was lying. I managed to find black sweats and a white clean camisole. I took the paper of destiny and put it in my built-in bra in the camisole. I left the bedroom and noticing the aroma of fresh pizza filling up my nostrils.

"Did you order pizza while I was changing in five minutes, because wow, that's some great service to whoever you called?" I yelled out.

"Nah. I just heated up some frozen pizza. If only delivery men were like the Flash. But if you think that's going to avoid from the conversation of which cute boy you're going on a date with, then wrong! _Y__ou _are dead wrong, mi amigo. Now come over here and spill the details."

I slumped onto the futon, trying to figure out what I was going to say. How was I going to tell her? _Oh fuck, this better not turn into another fight. _

"Uh…" I mutter, not looking at her.

"Amelia, you know you're gonna end up telling me sooner or later. Might as well do it now! What? Did you run into a YouTuber or something?"

I couldn't make eye contact with her, but I knew that she knew. I didn't have to glance her to know that she was making an 'O' shape with her mouth.

"Oh my fucking god, you did, didn't you? YOU GOT A YOUTUBER'S NUMBER?! Whose was it? Luke Cutforth? Jack or Finn? Alex Day? Alfie? WHO THE HELL WAS IT, AMELIA?" Camille began to scream.

"Well…" I started to say. My eyes

"OH MY ACTUAL GOD IT WAS PHIL WASN'T IT!?" Camille interrupted, her pitch getting higher with each word.

"Close…." I whispered. I look up at her, her eyes were now starting to flicker with jealousy and at that moment as I finally met up with her eyes, _she knew. _

"You. You got Dan's number? You, _who doesn't even like Dan Howell_, got Dan Howell's phone number? What. The. Fuck. If you do not share this with me, I am disowning you as a friend and kicking you out, since you don't pay rent right now." the pitch of her voice started to go down, but I couldn't help but notice there was some bitter resentment in it. I couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or not. She stormed away from me, and judging from the smell of slight burning in the background, I could only hope she was checking on the pizza.

"Camille... I know you like Dan a lot. But...you're also...well kinda really fangirly towards him. I mean...if you met him or called him or whatever, would you scream? Would you act like.. I don't know. A normal fucking human being? I mean think about it. You wouldn't be able to act in any way fangirly towards him, if I gave him your number. And if I did and you did it, then I would disown as _my _friend, because then you would've ruined my chances with Phil." I adjusted my body to see where she was.

She was indeed attending to the pizza. Thankfully. It was at that moment I remember that the key to my dream-boy lied in my bra. I didn't dare take it out, as I knew Camille, with her Spiderman senses, would detect it, snatch it, and take a run for it.

"I see how it is. You meet Dan, you realize how much of a great guy he is, and now you want him all to yourself." she snaps as she slammed the oven door shut.

It was at that moment that I could feel the anger just bubbling up inside of me. What was wrong with her? Why was she doing this? I didn't know whether to cry or flip out. Camille had just been so...irrational. She has never acted so jealous before. It was strange, seeing this side to her.

"No, Camille. That's...not it at all. I don't like Dan. I just want to meet Phil. I don't want you to fuck that up for me, okay? Is that so hard to ask for? God, why are you being so bloody irrational?" I snapped back.

She takes a piece of gooey pizza onto her plate and just walks over to her bedroom. Not looking at me at all, before she opens the door, she says one final last thing before I saw her for the last time that night.

"I'm not jealous of you at all. I am worried about you. When we first discovered Dan and Phil and vowed to move to London together when we were fourteen, we both pinky promised each other that whoever met them first would get the other one to meet them. I thought you out of all people would take that shit seriously. I was wrong." she slams the door.

I had night terrors again that night.

The next morning was a blur. You know those mornings where you know that you did something awful the night before and then you wake up with the feeling of guilt lurched inside of your stomach just twisting and turning inside of you? That was how I was feeling. I looked around the apartment. I had guessed that she left. I know I would've too after what had happened. I just wanted to cry; I hurt my only friend that I had. I realized that damn paper was still inside my camisole. I leaned up on the couch and just stared at it. How could a piece of paper completely fucking wreck my friendship? A lump had formed in my throat. I didn't know what to do. I had to do something. I had to make it up to her. I could give her the number, but the selfish part inside of me had come up to the surface. I _know _she would just fuck it up for me. I _knew _that. I scrunched it up in my hands. I dragged myself off the couch and went towards her bedroom to see if Camille was there. I knocked lightly on the door, but no response. I figured as much. I walked in and went towards my dresser, finding suitable clothes to wear out. Only a walk could help me get my thoughts together. I threw on an oversized sweater and skinny jeans and stuffed the number of doom in the front pocket. I checked myself out in the mirror on top of the dresser. My thick blonde hair was a mess, but I didn't care. Dark bags dressed the underneath my dark blue eyes. I looked like a wreck, but at least it would reflect how I felt. I stuffed a beanie on top of my head and I found myself on par out the door.

It wasn't raining that day. I kinda wish it did. As it always calmed me down. But in a way, it was better that it didn't. Rain was probably one of the reasons that I got into that damn mess that I was in. I had no idea what I was going to do. My best friend hated me, I had no job, I was failing art school, I was most likely going to be homeless, everything around me was falling apart. I walked through the crowds, hoping that it would help me not fall apart. Hoping that I could find the solution to my problems that it would hit me, like a light-switch, but there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. I was numb; devoid. I didn't even feel like crying. I was apathetic to everything around me.

I found myself halted in a stop. I was in front of a chocolate shop. It was one of those old-fashioned chocolate shops with pretty-decorated boxes with ribbons and bows that made the chocolate inside of the store. The aroma of fresh chocolate filled my nostrils and a pang of hunger lurched inside of me. I hadn't eaten since yesterday and even though, I didn't want to eat and didn't have a lot of money, I took a step inside.

I was in a daze. I just wanted to eat all of the chocolate; but alas I couldn't. So, I just stood around, trying to find the most cheapest chocolate, I possibly could get, when I bumped into a rather tree-like person.

"Oh, sorry." I muttered, looking up. It was...no, it couldn't be? _Again? _Seriously?

"That's alright...wait I recognize you. You're the chick who fell face first into me and fell into a puddle, isn't it? Long time, no see!" Dan exclaimed.

I paused, trying to quickly muster up words to configure. The reason for my fucking issues was standing right in front of me. Part of me wanted to kick him in the shins and run for it. Another part of me wanted to be a total asshole to him. But I was raised better than that.

"Yeah..hey. How's it going? Going for a chocolate binge, I see?" I awkwardly mumbled.

"Hahaha, yeah. Can't have enough chocolate. Your name was Amelia, wasn't it? Doing better than yesterday, I hope?" he looks away from me, grabbing a medium sized box.

I chuckled to myself. _If by better, you mean my whole fucking life has crumbled because of you. Then sure, I'm doing "better."_

"Eh. I guess."

"It sounds like someone needs chocolate. Can I buy you some? I know I barely know you, but it seems that you just really need some chocolate." he grabs another box from the pile he just got from. "You like mint chocolates?"

I just stared at him. If he was gonna expect me to share my sob story, like those girls in fanfictions do, he was wrong. So, I took advantage of the situation of a cute boy buying me chocolates who was best friends with guy I was hopelessly infatuated with.

"Yeah, I love mint chocolates."

"Great! Well, let us go and pay for them, then!"

He and I walked towards the till and I couldn't help but notice how truly awkward he was. I always thought that was an act; a ploy to get the so-called "socially awkward" teenage girls groveling at his footsteps. But he was different. Although, I didn't trust him just yet. Something in my mind changed about him. I mean, he was buying chocolates for an exceedingly rude and even more-so clumsy girl who he's only met twice. I bet this didn't happen often.

As we left the store back into the hustle and bustle of the London streets, we devoured our chocolates. There was silence between us. But it was a comfortable silence. It was a silence that only people who were best friends for years could experience. I still felt hostile towards him, but I could feel it alleviating from my shoulders, with bits and pieces as the minutes passed. We found our way towards a park, where we finally sat down and that silence broke.

"So..." he whispers.

"So..." I repeat back to him.

"I'm sorry you seem to be having a bad time. I know you probably don't want to tell me your issues, as we barely know each other. I get that, but is there anything I could do to help you feel better, perhaps?" Dan asks.

"You've already done so much, Dan. I mean you bought me chocolates and didn't try to pry into my issues. I appreciate that." I could feel my words starting to stutter.

"How about a hug? Would a hug help?" he asked politely.

I couldn't resist a hug. Even if it was from a guy, I didn't like. I needed a hug more than anything and at that moment in time, I didn't care who it was from. It could've been from a diseased old homeless man and I wouldn't care. So, he leaned in towards me and gave me the most nicest hug anyone had given me in forever. I felt warm tears starting to fall down my cheeks, staining his spiky black jumper.

"Thank you. Really." I whimpered.

"Anytime. Really. I mean, I was kind of hoping you were going to call me. So, I'm glad I ran into you today. Would you...like to hang out with me sometime again, soon? I can bring Phil along too, if you want."

I could just feel the joy star radiate inside of me. Phil, I could meet _Phil? _Yes, please. I almost forgotten about the intimate moment I just had with Dan and all of my attention was focused on that. Of course, I approached it, non-chalantly.

"Yeah. That would be awesome. Why don't you phone me instead? I mean... I forget a lot. Do you still have some that Pokemon note paper from yesterday?" I asked.

"Sure! And yeah, I always carry that with me. Just in case, I have to give my phone number to clumsy girls and buy chocolate for them." he grabbed out of his pocket a pen at hand. I scribbled down my number and we said our goodbyes.

_What the fuck just happened?_


End file.
